Dear Manager,
As managers, I think we always hope to have a grip on reality and at least one foot firmly planted. We all feel the responsibilities of our profession, and fully hope that we are perceived in a light consistent with the needs of those we work with. At times, I have wondered if how I am perceived is, in fact, consistent with my own perception. A story was related to me a few years ago, referencing that all relationships have four very basic quadrants, similar to the four panes of a window. The first windowpane represents how we see ourselves. The second reflects how we want to be seen. The third reflects how we believe others see us. The fourth is how we are actually seen by those around us. This very interesting thought process is worth more than an occasional review.

SEEING OURSELVES
In 1980 I convinced myself I was not capable of becoming a manager. On two occasions I had given my best effort to establish an organization of more than one. Twice I had been thrilled to fulfill my goal of hiring an individual for a sales region. In each case, the individual lasted less than a week. I was devastated. I can remember hearing of others “who just couldn’t hire people.” Could I be plagued with a similar malady?

In my mid 20’s, and with a fair amount of anxiety, I was looking for an individual with the ability to assist in the development of one of my sales regions. I enjoyed field sales, but had reached the proverbial wall in my ability to sustain needed increases and properly service my accounts. There seemed to be two options: hire someone (oh god), or leave the only profession I knew (oh my god!). The self- imposed pressures seemed overwhelming.

After a third desperate try, I perceived myself as someone with no future in management. To bring transition to my career, I developed a new mail order company. I hired a family friend to assist me as an employee for the new business, while doing the best that I could individually as a manufacturers representative.

Within a few weeks, my employee pointed out that I obviously needed someone to assist me in the field (just what I wanted to hear). His confidence convinced me to give it another try. With anticipation, we began the process once again. With an incredible sense of relief, we found success (thank God). Within two years, the mail order business was closed, and the sales agency had grown to include six associates.

I have had many years to reflect on this time in my life, and have realized that I learned a huge lesson in this process. Our self-perception is as real as real can get. When taken to the next level, our conclusions can easily preclude, limit, and even eliminate our ability to learn and mature in our given field. I could not accept my inability to succeed; yet in my mind I could no longer risk another failure.

We have all been thrust into situations that through our maturity and experience, we are not emotionally prepared to successfully accomplish. Is this a flaw in our personality that cannot be resolved? From my experience, I now accept that a current shortcoming is simply a difficult lesson that has no bearing on a future ability to find success in a similar situation.

HOW ARE YOU SEEN?
Are your staff’s perceptions important to you… and your organization …or should it be? Do you compromise your own standards in an effort to please? At times, have you tried too hard to sell or justify your position? As a manager, have you become more resistant to the opinions and perceptions of others? Have you simply taken the dogmatic approach to the decision making process? I would suggest that over the lifetime of a management career, all of the above have impacted us.

Tough decisions and their corresponding perception are part of the package in management. Can those around us fully comprehend all of the dynamics in our decision making process? Are others ever aware of the day-to-day demands that impact these decisions? Will we be able to please everyone with the types of difficult decisions that need to be made in managing an organization? The answer, unfortunately, is no. Showing flexibility, knowledge of all aspects and circumstances, and a willingness to come to a decisive conclusion is critical. Over time, how we are perceived by these decisions becomes reality for those individuals involved.

With the fast pace of business in the ‘90’s, there will never be the opportunity to share ones perspective in the hour-by-hour decisions required in running a sales organization. By nature, a clear decision making process instills confidence, and will give those associated with us a sense of stability. Confidence and consistency should be considered your greatest ally. It will speak for you in times when there is no opportunity or need to fully explain.

CLARIFYING ANOTHERS “VISION”
Leading by example is a highly underrated form of management. There can be a perception that management has all the flexibility, while everyone else puts in their hours. This is true to a degree, yet management has the ultimate responsibility for the broad-based livelihood of the organization. Although flexibility is essential for management to be successful, what staff members of an organization may relate to is the hands-on, elbow-to-elbow aspects of the relationship.

When there is a tough or “dirty” job that needs to be done, jump in and do it. There is no stronger example than your willingness to get your hands dirty. Occasionally, take on an “unglamorous” project. Assume responsibility for the worst job. How can anyone second-guess your commitment if you are willing to do what ever it takes to achieve your mutual goal? Never ask someone else to do something that you would not ask of yourself.

I am not suggesting that we forego the need to delegate responsibility as the needs of an organization grow and evolve. I am suggesting that we set an example showing we are never above the very real day-to-day needs of our organization. We learned to accomplish these tasks in the beginning, and we have never forgotten how.

YOUR “VISION” OF OTHERS
THERE IS ALWAYS MORE TO THE STORY! Over the years, I have received phone calls from frustrated customers or manufacturers regarding their perception of an individual associate. The caller, of course, would like immediate resolution of the issue at hand. How often have you gotten off the phone, having just had a conversation that reflected on another individual that, from your own perspective, simply did not make sense? In effect, you are being asked to make a decision or support another point of view based on one frame of reference – theirs.

In such situations you owe it to yourself and the parties involved to step back long enough to confirm or deny your own instincts of what reality truly is. Do not hesitate to end the conversation forming no opinion until you have had the opportunity to discuss the circumstances with all parties.

While this concept may seem obvious, in the fast pace of management it is very easy to form an opinion or jump to conclusions with only limited and or inaccurate information. I have personally found from experience, if it simply doesn’t make sense, in all cases, there is more to the story.

WHAT IS REAL?
In this life, at least, we will never know with certainty how we are actually perceived by those around us. There are indications, but often from those who either wish to tell us what we want to hear, or who are close enough to our reality that they may have lost some of their own objectivity. As managers, we must encourage, consider, and often make changes based on the input of others. The continued success and relevancy of our management style depends on it. As individuals, today’s greatest weakness can indeed become tomorrow’s greatest strength.

Personal Regards,
Keenan

INTERPERSONAL© is published by INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM, Keenan Longcor, Editor, ©2008. Duplication of this publication is permitted for both personal and business use. Excerpts may only be quoted with acknowledgment of INTERPERSONAL and/or INTERPERSONALBIZ.ORG as the source. For re-publication rights, please contact the editor at KEENAN@INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM