Vol. XXXVIII

Dear Manager,

The development of new working relationships is an ongoing dynamic of a management career. Be it the opportunity to manage one’s own organization or simply a new working relationship with a field sales agency, our personal style will speak volumes. We have become someone’s manager.

Management styles can take on many faces. What is the most effective approach for you? Certainly this can only be determined by each of us as individuals. Effective management has a foundation of strong values and consistency. We all build a platform, a basis from where to proceed. Having worked with many managers, there are some obvious qualities and axioms we can all sink our teeth into. As a manager, our single greatest hazard is to be considered irrelevant.

GIVE ME HONESTY, RESPECT AND DISCIPLINE

With these three qualities in their purest form, it doesn’t really matter what approach we take. Always a two-way street, these single qualities in consistent form will ensure success to all players, and in all areas of endeavor.

In a meeting with a new manufacturer once, I enjoyed the opportunity to see a truly nice guy win. This absolute gentleman was not only at great ease with himself, but with his objective for the day. With simplicity and significant class, he proceeded to endear himself to everyone in the room. By the end of the day, there wasn’t a single person in the room who didn’t wish he was their brother.

In his very personal way, he had captured the imagination, enthusiasm, and motivation of our group in a way I had rarely seen from an “outsider” in the past. His genuine style and clear expectations set the stage, and everyone finished the day with a feeling of benefit and a sense of high anticipation. This guy was a pro! He provided them with respect, honesty and the motivation to create the discipline. I have certainly seen the contrast, as have many of you!

BIRDS OF A FEATHER

Individuals with a false sense of power and ego will look to surround themselves with a similar breed. While this may be an effective and fulfilling approach for some, I have found it to be rarely effective for a mature organization. In many instances, the individuals being managed will clearly have greater knowledge and a much higher level of experience and presence than the individual being asked to manage them. Confidence may be at conflict for managers who find themselves in this scenario. By contrast, what greater opportunity for a manager than to work with individuals who are more experienced and knowledgeable than themselves?!

I have also seen management relationships fail due to the lack of professional space. Individuals who fail to understand this critical balance are headed down a road of disappointment. We are not here to be everyone’s best friend. Professional space will promote the respect that is essential to any working relationship. Familiarity breeds misunderstanding and an opportunity to take unfair advantage. In the long term, it can create a perceived sense of favor available only to a select few.

SO, LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD

We’ve all seen new managers who simply try too hard. Rather than listening and responding with their influence, these individuals find themselves selling their positions from the outset. All new relationships require time to develop, allowing all parties to grow into a level of comfort.

It’s only human nature for a small amount of suspicion to exist in the beginning. Understand this reality by allowing the relationship to develop and evolve on its own terms. Encourage the relationship to come to you. Allowing relationships to grow slowly will provide greater respect, understanding and confidence in one’s individual needs. Begin by looking at this development in terms of steps:

THE FIRST STEP begins with a relatively low profile. Nothing can be learned through your own voice. Asking questions and listening should represent 80% of your initial involvement. If you are looking to get up to speed, a sincere willingness to understand will be your greatest ally, and perceived with a high degree of respect by those seeking to assist in your transition. Respect and power are always earned over time and by example, they can never be effectively dictated.

Observation will be your second greatest tool. Ask to observe and participate in meetings or sales presentations. Once again, there should be no need to prove or justify your relevance at this time. This can be very difficult, and you must bite your tongue on occasion. You will see obvious opportunities that need to be addressed, but now is not the time – file them for future reference.

Proceed with the belief that there will be another, more appropriate opportunity. You will be surprised at how many of your concerns will simply evaporate for lack of future relevance. The ability to observe demands that we hold our initial comments to ourselves. The perception of being critical will only close you out.

In the absence of imminent collapse, show confidence in the status quo and stay completely out of the day-to-day decisions for the organization. How can you possibly establish policy in the very early stages? A lack of a global understanding of the organization puts you at a very decided disadvantage. I have seen individuals make this fatal mistake; they have consistently fallen flat on their face. Seem so obvious, and yet they will consistently fail again, now for the second time!

THE SECOND STEP begins with a healthy dose of encouragement. With your many observations in hand, you are now in a position to align yourself with those individuals in whom you have the greatest confidence. Build a support team to assist in finding a greater depth of knowledge and direction for the organization. Ask more probing questions. Now is your opportunity to ask if your earlier thoughts had been tried. Ask for assistance in your efforts to come up to speed. When asked, individuals will line up to support you.

Begin to provide suggestions from your own frame of reference. Explain real-life scenarios of similar circumstances from your past. This approach suggests a greater understanding of others’ dynamics, and is much less threatening. Similar to my previous example, always stay within your own style and personality.

Trying to be someone you are not will be apparent to those you are trying to manage. Remember, validation comes from within, not from those around you. This is the greatest risk in trying to be a personality type that lacks authenticity. It should be obvious, yet the most difficult things to learn are often the least complicated.

THE THIRD AND FINAL STEP is the reality that the honeymoon is over. After a period of weeks, those around you will feel the level of comfort and confidence you could have only wished for in the beginning. You will be looked to for direction; it’s time to prove yourself. With the knowledge, observations and experience you have secured, it’s time to move forward.

You are now in a position to take a very pro-active role in the direction of those around you. Never fail to ask direct questions prior to coming to a conclusion. Continue to seek the counsel and draw upon the experiences of those who have proven their value. A know-it-all only shows lack of respect for those around them.

Remember, a polished and refreshing style always commands attention. As suggested earlier in this article, good guys can, and do, finish first. There are individuals for whom we all enjoy rising to the occasion, fully supportive of their efforts. These are invariably the individuals who rise to the occasion in meeting and understanding our needs as well.

Personal Regards,

Keenan

INTERPERSONAL© is published by INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM, Keenan Longcor, Editor, ©2009. Duplication of this publication is permitted for both personal and business use. Excerpts may only be quoted with acknowledgment of INTERPERSONAL/INTERPERSONALBIZ.ORG as the source. For re-publication rights, please contact the editor at KEENAN@INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM